What do you look for in a partner

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Now, of course, this list is totally subjective and not at all complete.

What do you look for in a partner

We all have our own individual needs and wants when it comes to choosing a life partner, so consider my list of 8 things simply a catalyst for your own creative thinking about this topic. And then please leave me a message in the comments below to let me know what else you would add to this list! Choose someone for the feelings they evoke in you. For the quality of their character and soul. Not for their looks, their professional accolades, their paycheck.

All of this will fade and change and ebb over the course of time. Choose someone for their invisible qualities. The reality is this: long-term romantic relationship can be HARD. It is also beautiful, inspiring, hilarious and many other wonderful things. But make no mistake; it can be hard, too. Getting two humans to stay together with all their quirks, preferences, and baggage day-in and day-out, year after year as you grow, evolve, and possibly change as individuals takes work and it takes a willingness to grow and to learn.

A partner who is only available to see the happy, shiny stuff of life and who wants to quit the relationship when the tough stuff hits may not be long-term life partner material as life is chock-a-block full of the not-so-shiny stuff.

Find someone you can be yourself around and who you can count on to be there when the tough stuff of life gets dished out. It contains all the tools to help you navigate the hard conversations you may face. Sharing similar goals and a similar life vision is. Differences in values and life vision can be worked throughof course, but you set yourself and your relationship up for success when you choose a life partner who, at the very least, shares some or most of your key values and goals. Similar to point two, relationships take a lot of hard work and you will both inevitably mess up, hurt each other, make mistakes, and otherwise generally behave like jerks to each other from time to time.

What do you look for in a partner

So choose a life partner who is a good forgiver. Who can accept your apologies after you mess up. Who can move past arguments with you. Who can forgive you for not being your kindest self sometimes. Because messing up in a relationship is inevitable. If this person were not your lover, would you want them to be your friend?

Do you admire and respect how this person shows up in their other friendships? Sex and romance is a slice of the pie of relationship. Friendship with the other person is, perhaps, an even bigger slice. Pick a partner who makes a good friend.

What do you look for in a partner

Joanne Woodward, actress, philanthropist, and long-time life partner of the late Paul Newman, has a quote I just adore:. Pick a partner who can help you laugh — at yourself, at them, at the ridiculousness of life, who can crack you up even on your grumpiest morning. Humor makes life feel better and a partner who can make you laugh is a wonderful quality in a lifelong mate. Ultimately, choose a partner whose goodness and ways of being in the world inspires you to be better yourself. Choose someone who brings out and strengthens parts of you that you may not have known existed.

Choose someone who you feel makes your world and life feel bigger, richer, and more fulfilling. Not the opposite. What else would you add to this list to help someone in their selection of a lifelong mate? Leave a message in the comments below so our community of blog readers can benefit from your wisdom.

Congratulations on your wedding and wishing you the best!! I truly hope your partner will be able to keep you in the best of spirits because the world needs contributions from talented professionals like you. Of all the 8 points that you have mentioned, choosing someone who is growth and learning oriented is the most important.

As long there is learning and encouragement to learn ,life is a bliss. This is excellent, Annie! up to receive Annie's bi-monthly essays, plus news and announcements that she only shares with her newsletter list.

What do you look for in a partner

Search this website. Look for someone who is growth and learning-oriented. Choose someone with mostly similar values and a similar life vision as you. Choose someone who is a good forgiver. Choose someone who is a good friend. Choose someone who makes you laugh. Choose someone who inspires you to be a better person. I sincerely hope you enjoyed this list! And until next time, take very good care of yourself. Warmly, Annie. Do you come from a relational trauma background? Take this quiz to find out and more importantly, what to do about it if you do.

Related Posts. Self Care. February 16, Are you the identified patient in your family? Healing Childhood Trauma. November 24, Like hedgehogs in a cold, haunted mansion: Loving with a relational trauma history Healing Childhood Trauma. Ready to Connect? Get in Touch. Connect Facebook Instagram Pinterest. Newsletter up to receive Annie's bi-monthly essays, plus news and announcements that she only shares with her newsletter list.

What do you look for in a partner

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A Therapist Shares 8 Things To Look For In A Life Partner.